2016 In the Rearview Mirror

We are well on our way to the end of January 2017 and I thought I'd take a few minutes to reflect on 2016. Where I've been and where I'm headed on this spiritual walk with God. It's pretty much my belief that the past is the past and we can't change it so its pretty pointless to play the "what if" games, however I do believe that it can be beneficial to assess where one is and where they want to head. Let's not wander in the dessert for 40 years with no sense of direction.

Spiritually, 2016 was a year full of ups and downs. My sister passed away Thanksgiving Day 2015 and my weekly visits disappeared and more than I admitted at the time my spirit was a bit worn. With her passing, I became the only one of five children in our family still living. I had lost my parents years earlier and my sister and I were the true bookends, her being the oldest and me the youngest of our family. I wasn't mad at God, I wasn't disappointed, it just felt very raw and it took me a bit to wander back into musing. Through it all God was there waiting to direct me. I just wasn't looking at the map.

My faith was never shaken, it just seemed distant, less tangible. I continued to read bible verses, journal, and muse internally but I blogged less in 2016. For me, as a writer, writing is the most powerful emotional access tool I have and perhaps, (not sure) I avoided writing because it does just that it connects the emotions of the soul with the realities of our world. I felt a little alone, while surrounded by people. I never felt lonely with God but the nature of that relationship became so deeply personal that I kept it close and private.

I think reflecting back that 2016 became a spiritual cocoon, in which I wrapped myself, warm and protected by God's love. I doubt anyone noticed the difference, which in itself isn't that unusual. Now it is time to emerge for the cocoon and to step forward in to 2017.

In 2017, I plan to muse, muse more than I even think is humanly possible. To question my own musings, to reflect, to evaluate, to converse with God in the deepest ways possible but most of all to listen.  I tend to get caught up in my own head and heart. I tend to think I "know". But what if in reality in this determined stance I take, God wishes me to be slightly more humble, slightly less "set" in my ways, and much more open to God's direction. In the busyness of my own thinking I might just miss His whispers. So 2017 will find me in more private and quiet reflection, with less of the craziness of the world. I still want to blog because I feel that I am drawn to do so. Maybe again that's just my own head because I have no evidence anyone even reads this blog. However, writing it serves the purpose that I started it for, not to develop a huge audience but to provide an opportunity for me to deepen my relationship with God. If in the end someone wanders upon it and something written here is helpful then it has served both purposes well.

Hugs to each of you, wherever you are on your spiritual journey may you emerge from your cocoons, warm and safe!