My oldest brother Jimmy passed away last week and his funeral was today. Isn't that a lovely term "passed away". What does it mean exactly? Other than passing from one life into another? Quite honestly, we weren't particularly close. We'd had many a falling outs through the years and just had very different ways of looking at life, and love, and the world. A while back I let him know that none of that truly mattered. I simply let go of those things that caused anguish, bitterness, and stood like a brick wall between us. We still weren't close (sometimes there's just too much time and distance and it starts to feel surreal) but it still felt better to let go of all those things; that in the long run, in the overall scheme of life, really didn't matter anymore.
Even with all of that, there's still a sense of grief, lost childhood memories and little things that even when I wanted to knock him in the head, only he would truly "get". He could get my temper going like no other and then just say some completely logical thing that left me scratching my head. He wasn't perfect but neither am I, or you, or anyone else for that matter. All he could do is travel this path, this journey through life with his own flair. And that he did.
In the end he left his imprint on many people's lives; friends, family, coworkers. It never ceases to amaze me that so many people can know one in so many different ways. The brother I might describe is not the one my sister would, or his children, or his friends. The parts we play in people's lives are as varied as the stars in the sky. And the legacy one leaves behind can be as vast as the dark night sky, varying in intensity, an ebony canvas filled with clouds and specks of light from the distant stars. Too beautiful for words.
Hugs to each of you. As I share these very personal thoughts I hope that somehow they may be of some help to you in some small way.
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