As one of the twelve disciples Judas spent a lot of time with Jesus. He was a rather "weak or troubled disciple" before his ultimate betrayal of Christ for which he was paid thirty silver coins. Some propose that Judas was a "necessary" part of God's plan and therefore he was in fact "doing God's will" to fulfill the prophesy.
Psalm 41:9 – “Even my close friend, whom I trusted, he who shared my bread, has lifted up his heel against me.” (NIV)
Psalm 55:12-13 – “It is not an enemy who taunts me – I could bear that. It is not my foes who so arrogantly insult me – I could have hidden from them. Instead, it is you – my equal, my companion and close friend.”
Today I'm not as concerned about that aspect of the betrayal but rather want to muse about the interconnectedness of the betrayer and the betrayed. Without a level of connection, betrayal doesn't really occur does it? Without some expectation or some level of trust and commitment it isn't exactly betrayal. We aren't often accused of betraying a stranger but rather someone close to us.
Judas loved worldly things, specifically money. His character was questionable from the beginning of his selection as a disciple. Some claim that the betrayal came at the hands of satan and that it is he who possessed Judas and darkened his heart. In deed, I could see this as true because satan had been trying to discredit and destroy Christ since his birth.
Yet there is also a level of responsibility that falls squarely on Judas. It takes me back to the post I wrote about the nature of good and evil viewed as "becoming" and un-becoming". Satan did indeed influence and "toy" with Judas but it is Judas that allowed himself to wander so far from his spiritual path that he became an accomplice. Satan was there to tempt but he was not so much "locked" into the role by God to fulfill the prophesy as it was that God full well knew the heart of Judas (and many men). Knew that the possibility of betrayal by someone was not only possible but a statistical certainty. Judas's kiss was needed so that Jesus could be identified and not be allowed to slip away in the crowd. Yet Jesus had no intention of "slipping away."
Can you imagine Jesus's sorrow? Knowing someone that has been part of your life, part of your followers for a number of years could turn on you in such a way. Even though Christ knew the betrayal would come, I can't help but think that perhaps even to the end he was hoping that Judas would redeem himself, see the truth in the lessons Christ had been sharing, and would choose a different path. Last minute forgiveness is always available. We know this from the thief on the cross who Jesus promises a place in paradise.
I bring this into the human world and ask for you to think about a time you were betrayed. We have all lived through such moments, some more vivid and painful than other. The closer the level of trust and the bigger the expectation of loyalty the worse the pain. We all know people that are just "surface" friends. They have no intention of being loyal. Oh they can do so in good times but as soon as the roads get rocky they head a different direction. It's what we "expect." Then there are other relationships that we put time, effort, and emotional commitment into. We expect that to "pay off" in loyalty. When we are betrayed by those closest to us it shakes up our whole belief system.
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Jesus gave all without expectation. Knowing that there would be many that shunned him, turned away, refused to listen, ignored and even ridiculed him. He knew there would be many that would be "lost.". Yet he gave all to give us the opportunity to have eternal life.
Hugs to all of you. It is my sincere hope that you find something in these ramblings that resonates in your life. My mood is still here. I feel a little "lost" myself but hope that with the morning light my self doubts and fears will be quieted.
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